embalm right now, easy answer, but that involves not living anymore, so try again, wake up slowly, whisper, i’m young, i’m young, i’m young, buy a lighted mirror, they take away three years, get a tiktok account, do all the dances, upload your favorites, tell people you are 27, lie, pluck out gray hairs, then dye, continually dye, never let them see your roots, use facial cream in the morning, use facial cream in the evening, never go out in the sun, smile all the time, frowning is for wrinklers, constantly talk about olivia rodrigo, never talk about justin bieber, he failed, he’s old, botox is required, sleep in silk, it keeps your skin timeless, do cardio, then sauna, infrared, never ski, the cold makes lines in your face, never wear glasses, never drink, but if you must, one white claw with a college student, marry someone twenty years younger than you, wear the brands that they wear, ideally only lululemon, don’t forget vinyasa yoga, anything else is for the elderly, drink water, lots of water, drive a jeep wrangler, play your music loud, post everything on instagram, that way you have proof.
Daniel W. Polk 