When I Used To Ski

injured vertabrae is my reality, what do i miss? you ask in february, easy to answer, cross-country skiing, white snow, pine trees, vast mountains, i’m nothing & everything, expanse of time & space, gliding on undulating slopes, effort sweat spreads, limbs working hard, heartbeat, blood knows i’m at peace, no cellphone reception, only the next climb, one ski in front of the other, smooth swish, bits of ice crystal on boots, now just memories.

Cold Water Swimming

thought about buying a wetsuit, but after research and experimentation i’ve come to learn that i can swim/tread water all winter in northern california without a wetsuit, my max so far is 20 minutes, i’m going to do at least that much into november, december, and beyond, after a full day of teaching, then helping my kids with homework, and cleaning dinner dishes, there is something cathartic about gazing at a full moon in the night sky, listening to an owl hooting, while gentle water undulates all around me, numbing my injured back, big breath in, big breath out, i feel my heart, alive, all of me.

Trying Out For Colby Water Polo

i was an athlete, six feet, maybe 190, kinda husky, remembered water polo in high school, we played in five feet of water, i liked pushing guys around, throwing the ball into the net, polk, you should come out and play with us, the colby captain said to me one night, yeah, i thought, i can play division III water polo, the first practice was two days later, i borrowed a speedo and headed down to the pool, ok fellas, we will start with 20 laps, at this moment i should have walked away, i had never swam more than a couple laps in my life, but i was too embarrassed, so i got in, labored through 7 exhausting laps, then quietly exited the water, went to the locker room, put on my clothes, and pretended the whole thing never happened.