White Christmas in Rochester, New York

i’m dreaming of a white christmas, first sung by bing crosby, 1941, only a few weeks after pearl harbor was attacked, listened to by millions, but only a large handful have ever had a real white christmas, like the ones i used to know in the late 1970’s & early 1980’s, snow stacked high, fireplace crackling, tins & tins of homemade cookies, ham baking in the oven, neighbors stopping by for eggnog, my grandfather’s organ playing all the songs, rudolph, jingle bells, deck the halls, the fir tree with gifts under every branch, dozens of christmas cards on the mantle, tinsel draped below, at night tucked into my father’s childhood bed, i peeked out past the wooden bedposts & waited for santa, this was christmas. 

When The Hospice Bed Arrives

a metal bed frame rolls into the living room, & without wanting to, my mind goes there, are we the 20th room? the 200th? how much death has this bed frame held? the mattress starts to inflate, then i’m shown the oxygen machine, 7-foot plastic tube, with inserts for the nose, depending on the journey this might mix with morphine 

the warriors play on the tv, microwave beeps, & the dogs eat their dinner, just another night at home waiting for the inevitable, passing of time, life leaving, of course there is much more, massaging of temples, feet, hands, kisses to cheeks, forehead, tears, lots of tears, for others it might be sudden, but our hospice bed slows it all down, minutes mean everything.

How To Be A Good Husband

listen, to every word, change the toilet paper roll, go to the store, don’t ask what she wants for dinner, just make it, get the car washed and vacuum the inside, watch the rom-com movie, don’t invite the old frat guys home, make the dinner reservation, say yes to italy, say no to tv sports, clean the bathrooms, get the car tires changed, only buy jewelry that she has already selected, always share your dessert, never eat garlic in front of her, bring home flowers, always offer to drive, help your children with their homework, take the dogs out at night, rub her feet, say thank you, say i love you, say i understand, ask her if she needs help, listen, to every word.