
Sloane en Pointe



On a typical evening we are side by side. He’s drawing or writing, and I’m reading or writing.
a metal bed frame rolls into the living room, & without wanting to, my mind goes there, are we the 20th room? the 200th? how much death has this bed frame held? the mattress starts to inflate, then i’m shown the oxygen machine, 7-foot plastic tube, with inserts for the nose, depending on the journey this might mix with morphine
the warriors play on the tv, microwave beeps, & the dogs eat their dinner, just another night at home waiting for the inevitable, passing of time, life leaving, of course there is much more, massaging of temples, feet, hands, kisses to cheeks, forehead, tears, lots of tears, for others it might be sudden, but our hospice bed slows it all down, minutes mean everything.
summer of 1995 & college is over, a career does not yet exist, i’m living in moraira, spain, on the coast, day begins in love, warm croissants, plums, squeezed orange juice, mediterranean lingering in the distance, watery dream, one mile winding walk to the beach, a 20 minute swim, fish market, vegetables, baguette, bottle of wine, international herald tribune, stroll back to the house, lunch might be paella or tortilla espańola, time is no matter, read the whole paper, every word, then, perhaps some faulkner, light in august or absalom, absalom!, open journal, write about a fictitious future, ideas, stories, nothing at all, afternoon becomes evening, stars, paco de lucia playing guitar on cassette, intertwined night, soft sheets, sound of crashing waves, morning sunlight rays, repeat, day after day.

i listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul, where I’ll end up, well, i think only god really knows, there was a time when everyone knew cat stevens, mellow, introspective, perpetually coming of age, questioning the world, wishing for peace, early 1970’s, before yusaf islam, before the muslim allegations, but time has a way of passing, and he’s back on a snowy boarding school campus in the holdovers film, bleak backdrop, his musical return, forget all the wikipedia details, just take a minute, remember his songs, morning has broken like the first morning, he’s now 75, looks like a new dawn.
listen, to every word, change the toilet paper roll, go to the store, don’t ask what she wants for dinner, just make it, get the car washed and vacuum the inside, watch the rom-com movie, don’t invite the old frat guys home, make the dinner reservation, say yes to italy, say no to tv sports, clean the bathrooms, get the car tires changed, only buy jewelry that she has already selected, always share your dessert, never eat garlic in front of her, bring home flowers, always offer to drive, help your children with their homework, take the dogs out at night, rub her feet, say thank you, say i love you, say i understand, ask her if she needs help, listen, to every word.