Advice

the waiting is the poem, listen more, speak less, pray when you need to, sometimes every morning when it is still & dark, stretch, read, meditate, swim in cold water, eat chocolate when you need to, remember -they are not thinking about you, breathe deeply near tall trees, let go & let god, love, love is all you need, repeat the words of dead singers, but give them credit (john lennon), cry when you need to, especially when you realize time goes by too fast, savor the moments, forgive yourself for using words like savor, be alone, but not lonely, create something, tell the truth, but not all the time.

While You Are Watching Netflix

he is pondering the sound of crickets, he swims outside every night, listening to the rubbing of wings, chirps, we call them, mating sounds, darkness attraction, he has noticed the transition from october to december, dissipating insects, a little less with each cold night, moon fattens, sheds light, then gradually disappears, grows full again, & all the while you are indoors, scrolling through trending & top picks for you, top 10 movies, looking for answers, a way to kill time, exist, alone, or with ice cream, your screen escape, watching drama, violence, comedy, night after night, hoping for something good, something that matters, meanwhile, he’s outside contemplating dusk, counting stars as they appear in the sky, you ask, why? he pauses to reflect, each evening is different, is his reply.

Cold Water Swimming & Coyotes

swimming centers me, fallen japanese maple leaves sink in water, nestle between my toes, stick to shoulders, i am a leaf magnet, like the man feeding pigeons in central park, the tree likes me, i think, gifts from above, cold water thoughts, staring at stars, nameless constellations, pump arms and legs harder, keep the heart moving blood to numb fingers, i have a rock on pool’s ledge for coyotes, but i would never throw anything, maybe splash or yell, coyotes won’t visit, worries disappear, this is a good night.

Cold Water Swimming

thought about buying a wetsuit, but after research and experimentation i’ve come to learn that i can swim/tread water all winter in northern california without a wetsuit, my max so far is 20 minutes, i’m going to do at least that much into november, december, and beyond, after a full day of teaching, then helping my kids with homework, and cleaning dinner dishes, there is something cathartic about gazing at a full moon in the night sky, listening to an owl hooting, while gentle water undulates all around me, numbing my injured back, big breath in, big breath out, i feel my heart, alive, all of me.

Trying Out For Colby Water Polo

i was an athlete, six feet, maybe 190, kinda husky, remembered water polo in high school, we played in five feet of water, i liked pushing guys around, throwing the ball into the net, polk, you should come out and play with us, the colby captain said to me one night, yeah, i thought, i can play division III water polo, the first practice was two days later, i borrowed a speedo and headed down to the pool, ok fellas, we will start with 20 laps, at this moment i should have walked away, i had never swam more than a couple laps in my life, but i was too embarrassed, so i got in, labored through 7 exhausting laps, then quietly exited the water, went to the locker room, put on my clothes, and pretended the whole thing never happened.