How To Use A Microwave

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first, only eat food raw, ideally just vegetables, fruits, nuts, that hot box will give you cancer, but if you must use it, push more than one button, the beeping sounds are soothing, if it says poke holes, stab with a fork, the plastic will succumb, if frozen, stare at what you will soon eat, looks like frozen february mud, mud is dirt, remember what your camp counselor said, god made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, enjoy the microwave glow, better than a sunset, hawaii on a kitchen counter, when it stops, rapidly consume, that is the whole point, life needs to be done quickly.

How To Commute On A California Highway

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first, don’t get in your car, bike the 18 miles, you will never get there in time and that’s okay, second, stay in the right lane, but go at least 75, this scares cars getting on the freeway, but the thrill is worth it, if you must leave the right lane, do it quickly, stare at old toyota camrys, space out for several seconds, this was your high school ride, keep wishing you were younger, never turn on the radio, it interferes with your breathing, listen to your inhale/exhale, if a tesla is speeding (and they always are), drive nearby, they will get pulled over, not you, if you see an 18 wheeler, stay behind it, imagine that square as a canvas, what would banksy paint there? try to remember that each vehicle contains at least one human, they are really alive, you must protect them, this means checking blind spots and using a turn signal, whatever you do, don’t think too much, the asphalt and fluorescent lines don’t care, they’ve seen thousands of you.

How To Use Email

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first, remember to delete, nothing is important, next, when in doubt, hide, no one knows if you are really there anyway, third, bcc people you barely know, this keeps life interesting, forwarding messages is also a good idea, especially if they are attached, to you, or, if you have an attachment, don’t forget technology is a tool and it doesn’t exist at all if you don’t look at it, close your eyes, never open your computer or phone, it might come out and scare you, or ask you questions, especially ignore the inbox, it really means outbox, like outhouse, spam goes to the bathroom, always send emails before 5am, shows you really care, trash happens, enjoy destruction, the space bar is never useful, shift doesn’t matter, hit return to before.

G.I. Joe Talks With A Therapist

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i don’t know who i am anymore, i was once secure in my identity, government issue (g.i.) joe, a man who fights for his country, but i’ve learned too much, am i really just an action figure? with the army? navy? air force? marines? all of them at once? it’s not possible for one man/toy? to endure so much training, so much violence, and the (g.i.) is a lie, hasbro is my creator, not the government or god, so confusing, real american hero, what bunk, in comic books and on tv, all of that is me making money? inspiration for young boys to grow up and kill? please help, i’m so distraught, born in 1964, then vietnam, iraq, afghanistan, how many men now have ptsd because of me?

Trying Out For Colby Water Polo

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i was an athlete, six feet, maybe 190, kinda husky, remembered water polo in high school, we played in five feet of water, i liked pushing guys around, throwing the ball into the net, polk, you should come out and play with us, the colby captain said to me one night, yeah, i thought, i can play division III water polo, the first practice was two days later, i borrowed a speedo and headed down to the pool, ok fellas, we will start with 20 laps, at this moment i should have walked away, i had never swam more than a couple laps in my life, but i was too embarrassed, so i got in, labored through 7 exhausting laps, then quietly exited the water, went to the locker room, put on my clothes, and pretended the whole thing never happened.

September 22, 2023 or Writing Exercise #2

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scroll, read, scroll, poem of the day, suzi garcia, her sentences are not quite for me, so i search for words, tulle, doyenne, melliflous, nothing connects, just esoteric ink on a screen, survey surroundings, dark parking garage, in the distance, corepower yoga next to scandinavian designs, sweat and furniture, both closed, friday night in san mateo, sitting because it hurts to walk, same old song, reminds me of motown music, the 60’s used to be yesterday, like dancing to the Four Tops at family parties, now motown is dirt, as in, old as, i’m less young too, new phase of life for sure, i’m the old guy waiting in the car, writing on my iphone, trying to tell the truth.